


Not Soon Enough

by rose_mori



Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, I tried my best, Other Characters Are Mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 18:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16500671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_mori/pseuds/rose_mori
Summary: After years of pining, Y/N gathers the courage to confess. However, that courage is short lived due to a letter addressed to Arthur.





	Not Soon Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in years but Arthur gives me heart wooshes so this is where we are now. This is my first time posting one of my works on this site so I hope everything is correct. Also, I'd like to thank faithseed for helping me figure out a detail in this and also for being very encouraging! Definitely go read their fics if you haven't already!

"Well I shouldn't be too long, just going to go see about a debt that needs payin'. Karen, Tilly, keep an eye out on this one for me while I'm gone." Arthur smirks in Y/N's direction as he says that, unknowingly causing her heart to just about leap out of her chest. The two had been close since Dutch had taken her under his wing about three years ago, and it didn't take long for Y/N to fall for Arthur's charms in that time.

"Just be safe out there." She crossed her arms and looked at the ground in an attempt to hide a blush that might've made its way to her cheeks. Karen stifled a laugh and Tilly just sighs, the girl standing in between them is absolutely hopeless. Usually Y/N would be eager to tag along, practically begging the man to give her day a little more adventure than hanging up washed clothes and sitting around for the rest of the day. Lately however, Y/N's been holding herself back more and Arthur has taken notice, but he didn't want to pry, well not himself at least. 

Rolling her eyes, Karen puts a hand on Y/N's shoulder. "You go get that bastard Arthur!" She grins as he tips his hat and turns away to unhitch his horse and ride off towards whoever the poor son of a bitch was who was going to be on the receiving end of whatever Arthur had in store for him lest he paid up. Once he had left, Y/N let out a groan. Her feelings were eating away at her, growing more intense with each passing day. She walked over to one of the tables in the camp and sat down, leaning over it in defeat. Karen and Tilly sat down with her and gave each other a look.

"I don't know why you don't just come out 'n tell'm you're sweet on him" Karen says, a little exasperated with how Y/N's crush has been panning out and how childish she was acting in regards to it.

"I know you're a little apprehensive about tellin' him but it's gettin' painful to watch" Tilly pipes up.

"Excruciatingly painful!" Karen emphasizes.

"Well take however painful it is for you to watch and double that cause that's what I feel! S'not an evenin' stroll for me either." Y/N huffed. She had to consciously make sure her mind didn't wander to the gruff and grizzled cowboy in question every so often and it was getting harder. She wanted to tell him, she really did, but the thought of rejection kept her away from it. "He probably thinks of me as a sister anyway" She added as she reflected on their relationship thus far. 

"That's a load'a horse shit." Karen snorted. Y/N looked back at the blonde absolutely baffled.

"I-I don't see how that would-"

"He always makes sure to tell you in particular what he's gonna be doin' and when you don't end up goin' with him the first thing he's doing is lookin' for ya after he comes back from whatever he's been doin' all day." Karen says

"He asked you for a dance the night we were celebrating that big score back in Blackwater, and for the time that I had known him I was sure that man was as fond of dancing as he is of swimmin', but it sure seemed he was havin' a pretty nice time swaying around with you." Tilly adds. 

"Not to mention he's always tryna make you laugh and the way he looks at you sometimes.. I mean I don't think it'd be as much of a risk as you think to confess." Karen points out. Y/N ponders on this for a bit, her eyes widening once she's convinced.

"You're right!" Y/N exclaims a little too loudly. Looking around she sees a couple people in camp curiously looking at the three women but quickly going back to what they were doing. She lowers her voice slightly as she continues. "I gotta tell'm when he gets back" Y/N smiles with determination, causing the other two to sigh in relief. Finally something would be done, but now Y/N was restless. Why did she finally come to this conclusion right as he left to do something? It was only a matter of time though and she was excited.

"What's all this ruckus about?" Susan Grimshaw asks and the three knew they were in for a nagging. Y/N got up and smiled at the older woman to everyone's surprise.

"Don't worry Ms. Grimshaw, I'll do as many chores as I can" Y/N needed to put all that excitement into something and being productive was probably the best way to go about that. Susan looked at her with a raised brow, as she put her hands on her hips.

"Is that so huh?" Susan looks at the other two, "I wish more people had this kind of attitude. Why don't you girls make yourselves useful for once and actually get to work." Susan scowls. Karen was about to protest but Tilly, not wanting to go through this song and dance today, put a hand on her arm as a way to tell her it'd be best to hold their tongues for once. They walk back to where they were before where Tilly was washing clothes and Karen was waiting for her look out shift. Susan looks back at Y/N and looks at her thoughtfully. "Since you're so unusually eager to help around why don't you tag along with me for the day? I'll have plenty of work for you to do." She inquired, to which Y/N happily agreed.

For once Y/N could clearly focus on the task at hand. She was going to get this burden off her chest and it felt freeing. As she helped Susan with various chores around camp she enjoyed the airy yet crisp spring breeze. It was crazy to think of their time on that mountain now that they were here, at times it almost felt like they would never make it off the mountain, which made it all the more surreal now that they were here in reasonable weather again. Even just being with the Van der Linde gang was in and of itself a shock, especially with how she joined.

Dutch and a few others were robbing her uncle's store; when he went to grab his shotgun instead of the money and valuables behind the counter as he had been so kindly asked for, Y/N instead grabbed it and knocked him out with the hilt of the gun and proceeded to rob him blind alongside the gang, making sure to tell them each and every one of her uncle's hiding spots that held his most expensive possessions. Dutch had been thoroughly impressed yet baffled, asking her why she did what she did. Once he heard her say "He ain't treatin' me right" he took her as one of his own without a moment of doubt and in that instant became a sort of father figure for her.

It had been a while since that happened and she was glad she made that risky move back then. She often wondered why they didn't shoot as she got up and reached for the gun since they didn't know what she was going to do with it. Maybe she'll ask Dutch sometime. He was reading at his tent so now would be a good time if it weren't for her being Susan's shadow for the day. Why did she even agree to this?

Oh right.

He hasn't come back yet and it had been a while. She silently prayed for his safe return. He can't die right when she's found the courage to tell him, she wouldn't allow him to. He had been there when she joined as well, being one of the people Dutch decided to take to rob them. While she was riding with Dutch on his horse when they were headed back to where they were set up at the time, Arthur was riding right beside them listening to every word she said. From then on they had slowly but surely gotten closer. He helped her remember everyone's names and made sure to keep her on Grimshaw's good side as he's seen how she tore through the other girls when they started slacking. Arthur was always watching over her, more so than some of the others in camp she'd formed a bond with and even Dutch himself. In hindsight that should've told her not to wait as long as she did but what could she do other than tell him now.

"Y/N?" Susan called out to her, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Mm sorry Miss. What're we doin' next?" Y/N asked.

"Well we've gotta go out to the post office to see if there's any letters for anyone. We've got a system in place to make sure everyone can still get letters without any of them Pinkerton's or anyone else trackin' us." She explained as she looked for the carriage and finally Y/N fully understood how Pearson was sending letters back and forth with someone.

Once they got two horses for the carriage they rode off into Valentine. She wasn't quite sure why they would need a carriage as it was only the two of them getting letters but she wouldn't dare question Susan's decisions unless she wanted a headache and hurt feelings. On the way, Y/N remembered when she, Tilly, Karen, and Mary-Beth managed to get Uncle and Arthur to take them to Valentine a couple days ago so she vaguely remembered the way there as Susan held the reigns. It was a quick ride compared to the first time, possibly because she didn't know the way before so it felt longer or maybe because the girls made Arthur stop to help that man with his horses. 

The post office was right where they were heading in so they wouldn't be going deep into Valentine. Y/N stayed on the carriage as Susan went in. Not two minutes later did she come out with a moderately thick amount of letters. Susan climbed on and turned the carriage right around, causing Y/N to frown a little. She wished they could at least look around Valentine a little before heading back, especially given how the last trip didn't turn out as well as she had hoped. Susan was the no nonsense type so Y/N supposed that she shouldn't be too surprised.

As they rode back, Susan gave the reigns to Y/N as she wanted to flip through the letters. "Pearson, Pearson, Molly, Leopold, Pearson, Arthur... Mary?" Susan glared at the letter as if she were somewhat offended by the name.

"Oh so... Mary-Beth has mail? I don't see why you're gettin' in a huff about that." Y/N said, mostly paying attention to the road.

"No, Arthur got a letter from Mary. This woman he used to have eyes for. I was never fond of her, never, not one bit." Susan shook her head disapprovingly as she skimmed through the letter. Y/N felt a slight pang in her heart when she heard that. Why is he getting mail from a past lover? Her mouth became a little dry.

"So uh, what happened with this Mary person? What does she want?" She asked while trying not to look or sound too desperate.

"Her daddy wouldn't let her be with him and she married another man. It seems here she's hit a bit of a rough patch and is being mighty apologetic in this letter. I'm not liking the looks of this at all." Susan's words making Y/N's mind go a mile a minute.

"Christ!" Y/N swore harshly as she tried to focus and push away her feelings once more.

"What's got you so bothered?" Susan asked utterly confused.

"Nothing, just a bug in my eye." Y/N played it off, fighting against sighing heavily in defeat or even crying in frustration. Forbidden romances and second chances are a recipe for a rekindling relationship, most likely a hot and heavy one at that. Arthur and this Mary's history together sounds like the plot to a romance novel that Y/N and Mary-Beth would swoon over together and that made it feel all the more like a slap in the face. The more she thought about it, the deeper the pit in her stomach felt.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur made his way back to camp. The debtor couldn't speak a lick of English but Arthur got what was owed in the end, even if it was by force. All he wanted to do now was relax for a bit and eat some stew. If Pearson wasn't done with that damn stew by now so help him God-

"Who goes there?" A voice called out to him.

"Settle down it's just me!" He calls out in response. Arthur slows down his horse to a stop as he looks at Karen.

"Oh just the man I was waitin' for!" Karen starts walking a little closer to him, pulling the strap of her rifle over her shoulder. Arthur raises an eyebrow in amusement.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of havin' a lovely lady such as yourself waitin' up for lil' ol' me?" He chuckles heartily as he jokes.

"Hold your horses pal. If you go around talkin' to every pretty woman like that then all my hard work'll be for nothin'!" She put her hands on her hips, a knowing grin tugged at her lips as she had easily captured Arthur's full attention.

"Oh? Well please Miss. Jones, enlighten me." He leans closer, against the pommel of his saddle with intrigue, already having a feeling he knew what she was referring to.

"Well I'll have you know lil' miss matchmaker over here has finally gotten Y/N to wanna 'fess up. Although I can hardly tell why you didn't just up and tell her yourself this whole time." Karen gives him the side eye to which he shakes his head and laughs.

"Well you see, I ain't got the best of luck with the ladies and that's not the type of luck you wanna mess around with when you've got someone like Y/N." He looks down at his horse and gives him a pat. "Isn't that right boy?" The horse raises its head slightly and it gives Arthur a huge grin as he sits up straight and gestured to it proudly, to which Karen rolls her eyes in response. "See? He gets it!" He pats it again before leaning on the pommel once more. "I don't wanna test my luck, however, if she were to come to me then I'd be a damn fool to deny myself of a woman like that. Not to mention I wanna see the look on her face when she's confessin' too." Arthur would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about the expression Y/N might have when she tells him, especially the one she'd make the first time he takes her once they finally became an item.

"I still think it's a waste of time. You could've been bumpin' uglies with her way before now" Karen says, now it's Arthur's turn to roll his eyes. "Well anyway, Y/N's with Grimshaw in Valentine gettin' the mail. You should hitch your horse 'n stay out with me while you wait, I wouldn't mind the company and I also want to witness the end of this pussyfootin' around between the two of you." Karen gets her rifle in her hands again as she prepares to get back on lookout. Arthur nods and goes to hitch his horse at camp.

When he comes back with his own rifle in his hands, he leans against a tree next to Karen and they idly chat every once in a while. Finally, Grimshaw pulls up along with a stone faced Y/N. Arthur and Karen share a glance at each other before greeting the two. They don't miss the flash of panic and sorrow on Y/N's face when she notices Arthur there. Confused, Karen speaks up first.

"Y/N, me and Arthur have been talkin' and I was tellin' him there was something important you wanted to tell him" Upon hearing this, Y/N's eyes widen and she glares at Karen as if she had sold her out to the Sheriff for stealing.

"I'm sorry but I'm feelin' a little ill at the moment, I just need to rest." Y/N says with a wry apologetic smile as she motions for Susan to keep going to camp. Susan gives her the reigns instead.

"You go on ahead, I'm going to talk to Arthur." Susan climbs down from the carriage and Y/N wastes no time leaving once Susan is off. The older woman just sighs and shakes her head. "An odd one she is. Anyway, you've got a letter and it's from that no good woman Mary."

Once Arthur hears those words he immediately pieced together what's happened. He takes the letter and looks it over. "Aw hell" he mutters under his breath. The outlaw folds the paper up, swiftly pocketing it, and goes back to camp to hopefully undo the damage.

If it were any other woman, Arthur would need time to decipher whether he was still hung up on Mary or not in order to tell if it were fair to keep pursuing them. Y/N however, was completely different. He cared for her and knew she cared for him in turn. Y/N unconditionally loved him if everything Karen, Tilly, and Mary-Beth told him all this time was true. Mary, however, was always conditional in her feelings towards him. She strung him along only to leave him in the dust. Only wanting the good and never the bad. He knew Y/N wouldn't do that because she wasn't like that, she would stand up for and stand by him no matter the situation. Hell, her only living blood relative left didn't mean a damn thing to her so he didn't have to worry about that either. His mind was made up without a second thought needed.

He quickly made his way around camp, looking high and low for her. Finally he found her sitting on a stump in an area of camp that was a little more secluded than the rest. He heard a bit of a whimper which made him frown. If he had any doubts about her feelings before he certainly wouldn't now. 

"Oh darlin'" He said sadly. Arthur gently put a hand on her shoulder as he was trying not to spook her. She jolted a little at the sudden contact. Immediately, she wiped her eyes. She would be embarrassed being caught crying in front of anyone at the camp regardless who it was, and when she finally saw who it was she was especially self conscious about being seen crying. He looked in her eyes with gentle concern adorning his weathered features. She wanted to cry again. It wasn't fair of him to look at her like that. Almost as if he was hers, he almost was too. Her tears were on the verge of falling, if she blinked she was done for, so all she did was bunch up a handful of her skirt in her fists and look straight down. It broke Arthur's heart to know that her sorrow was because of him in some way. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close, although the gesture was met with weak resistance.

"As much as I appreciate what you're tryna do, the last thing I need right now is your pity" She said bitterly as she succumbed to his embrace. The sadness she felt was intense to the point that her body couldn't find the strength to keep up with her pride. Arthur shook his head.

"I ain't pitying you" He said exasperated before he paused. "I want you" He said gently as he rested his chin on the top of her head, admitting to his feelings. So much for him wanting her to be the one to confess.

Y/N pulls away and looks up at him in shock. She had no reason not to believe him, Arthur wasn't the type to go around saying things he didn't mean, but it didn't mean she didn't still find it hard to believe herself. As Arthur looked down at her glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks, he wondered how someone could even manage to look so beautiful and precious even when they were sad, it only made him want to be the man to make her smile and look after her all the more.

"Don't make me repeat myself sweetheart" He smirked slightly as he teased. That was enough to put a smile back on her face, aside from a bit of sniffling it even got a small laugh out of her. Finally it had soaked in that the man she felt for reciprocated her feelings and she couldn't be happier.

"But what if I like hearing you say it?" Y/N teased back as she regained her composure, amusing Arthur as he raised an eyebrow.

"Well I've got a feelin' you'll be hearing a lot more than just that from now on." He smiled genuinely at the sight of her cheeks turning slightly red. Arthur, always being one to up the ante, goes in for the kill. He intertwined their fingers together and raised the back of her hand to his lips. "Are you mine?" It takes all the strength in the world for him to stop a smug grin from tugging at his lips when he sees Y/N swoon.

Looking up at him affectionately she responds, "Of course" and Arthur couldn't be happier about it.

Even though he didn't get to see the shy expression on her face as she confessed like he had imagined so many times before, he was glad that they shared such a heartfelt moment nonetheless. 

Besides, soon he was sure to see that other expression he's been looking forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> "Mary sent you a letter"
> 
> Arthur: I sleep
> 
> "Y/N wants to confess to you"
> 
> Arthur: real shit?
> 
> Also PLEASE if you have an idea that you'd like to see a fic of, I strongly encourage you to let me know in the comments!


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